In expectancy

I felt compelled to write something today. I haven't had much time in the past couple years to share my (more often than not) poorly written musings on life. But now, I am done with nursing school and find that I have excess time to reflect. I have gone from having 80-hour work weeks to binge-watching Netflix and baking anything I can get my hands on. It has been a rude awakening.

I am absolutely boggled when I think about my life now. Recently I was trying to describe to someone what it means to me to "see God at work in my life", and I think this blog post may be my most accurate answer. My life looks nothing like I imagined it would. Not even a little bit. I do not have the career I thought I'd have. I do not have the romantic relationship I thought I would. I do not have a new car or millions in savings. I live in city far from my home, my family, and many of my friends. But here's the thing: even though my life looks vastly different than any future I could have imagined for myself, it is better than any picture I have held in my head. My life is better than new cars and a lucrative career. And looking back, every step that has brought me here has been orchestrated by God alone. And it's beautiful.

I see God working to change my heart regarding my career at the most unlikely of times. I see God working to open doors for my entry into nursing school despite unsurmountable challenges. I see God faithfully carrying me through school amidst financial worry, car problems, scheduling conflicts, and limited intellect. I see God working to provide the most perfect job opening for me and preparing my heart for the hard work ahead. And what's more mind-blowing to me is that He did all this knowing that the payoff of this most-recent journey has fulfilled a calling in me that I didn't even know was there. I never would have chosen nursing, but God opened doors for me to discover that nursing is exactly how I need to be glorifying Him.

One of my most persistent struggles has been trusting God when I see an unclear and unmapped future. But I am encouraged to look back and see a map of where He has been with me at every step and has blessed me with more than I can comprehend. As this season of my life is closing, I am not doubting or questioning or worrying. I am waiting in expectancy for God's next step. My prayer is that God gives you an expectant heart for His next steps with you.